Sunday 14-02-2010

She is scratching my skin

Peeling of inhibited skin remembering the hole to come

In a dollhouse she dresses me as bear. I am in love with a Leopard

And all the time I feel a need to stick my tongue into your ear and invent painful songs of things that happened when I was not there.

Rush in my chest, my nipples feel sleepy and your confused tight caress continues long after you have gone

What if I open my mouth? Would it sing a song for me? For I feel left behind.

I find your grey jumper suiting me and I some how copy you as cute!

Are you cute?

There is sweetness about your lost mind, it squeezes itself between the frames of your glasses and your eyes come on to me from far far..there …behind, soaked with unquenched desire. Suddenly saliva spills pushing my tightly closed lips- still anticipating a song

Guess I’ve swallowed your songs and my mouth is so dry

Spit me out, please! Spit me into your cavities! Spit me into the emptiness you left behind. Spit till I disappear.

Can I lie still as you touch me?

3 long salty fingers pushed all the sounds inside; licking them I was only a tongue splashing against your confused tight caress. Meanwhile, I wait.

My skin is like the ocean you said… and you are not a very good swimmer.

Why do we take the risk of sailing?

My skin moved by the unquestionable tenderness with which you crawl.

I carry you, I carry her, I carry all these strokes pushed through my waters… do I prefer you to swim forward? Are you swimming forward?

Who awaits me at the shore… have you inscribed it on my skin?

‘She’ comes out of my mouth.

(an)other woman

I tried to hear all the things that I have not been told. Still waiting. Would this song ever sing me?

Does she caress your hair as you spoon her so tight?

Does she kiss your nipple?

Does she kiss your belly?

You shook your head with a No.

She likes the hair on my belly. By that, you gave me a space to get lost between my lips and her hands curling between the hairs of your belly.

Wish I could sleep next to you Kristina and you’d treat me like you treat him.

Wish you gave a list of what you want to eat this weekend. I only want the tastes of you today.

I see you at the station smiling and nervous… it felt like two young girls who have shared a secret and just that minute decided they would never ever speak about it to anyone, what ever happens!

The place surrounds me..

Do not know why I feel I should stay inside, as if the outer world will take you away from me, will bring me back!

The feeling of the graveyard is still with me.. Like a white blanket is falling on me but has not touched me yet.. It hovers around me and that little gentle surprising breeze that it creates just before touching is continuously blowing.

On your floor I have been leaving myself behind

In the silences of your words. In the closed pores of his skin as he loves you again and again.

Piles of possible costumes, cutouts of a love letter, blown out lights, sealed lips, the only few weightless footsteps

This morning, making art at your breakfast table I felt enormously sad

How can I love him the way you do?

I have a strong need to love him like you do.. Do you?

Love leaving me alone…

Like I needed a mirror, I made a crying face in the yoghurt plate and dropped some tears from above

He asked me what it is on my plate?

“A crying lion”… (possible title of this song?!)

Confused about your valentine’s present: an origami horse flying on cutouts of your beautiful face. A troll horse as you instructed me.

Thank you. Thank she.

How to celebrate your love when you have already packed to go

Are you already gone?

Am I breaking your heart?

He will fix our goodbye dinner, a celebration of her love.

Or let me put it in the right order: he will fix a celebration dinner of your love, her goodbye dinner.

And I will make sure to bleed on your plate

Or let me put it as you lovingly instructed me: I’ll lay you dead above the sink, laminated and bleeding.

Leopard skin will mend your porous holes and please, let us not have it over being reasonable tonight.

Can you be with two bodies at the same moment? I guess so, he murmured

How many skins have you touched and who do you remember when you touch her?

Ah!

Breathless at the excesses of my memory.

Eh!

All those bodies I scratch and secrete on your skin